So, by now most of you probably know that Josh & I decided to separate for a time. He did a pretty good job explaining the basics of why on his own blog, but we both decided that we wanted to add some clarification and perhaps a little more of an explanation of why.

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who has left a comment on his blog or our Facebook, We know you care about us individually and as a couple, and we appreciate that. I know it must have been a huge surprise and shock to most of you to have found out these recent developments in our relationship... like Josh said, many of our friends and family have referred to and said they thought of us as the "perfect couple". Honestly, I felt that way about us also for the first three years we were together. However, things have been going downhill steadily in this fourth year.

The reason we've come across as still getting along and loving each other is because... we do. It's difficult to explain to others, but it's true. We get along great on a friendship level... the problems are much deeper than that. Obviously we're not going to get into particulars and all the details with everyone so I understand that you might not have much of a reference point to make sense of what is happening now, but believe me when I say that everything you all have written or said to us is nothing new... all of those principles have been considered and implemented over and over in this past year.

This goes much farther than your typical "been together a couple years, realize the other person isn't perfect, bail out" kind of a deal. We went through that phase (without the bailing, obviously) a couple years ago. This past year has been something entirely different; it has been almost non-stop full of compromises, looking past each others' faults, doling out plenty of forgiveness, making sacrifices, moving past painful situations, etc. It's getting to the point where, to continue being happily married to each other, one or both of us is going to need to fundamentally change who we are... the things that truly, deeply matter to us, the things that make us us.

Because our love for each other transcends our marriage, neither of us is keen on making the other change who they are as a person just so that we can stay in this form of a relationship. True love does not force or expect - and quite frankly, I don't see how it could even want - that. Neither of us sees this as a selfish decision on either of our parts, but a totally selfless one. We aren't brimming with delight about this, but if our marriage is going to end, we want that to happen in the most positive light that it can, and deal with it as maturely as possible. We want to be able to remain friends, not drag this out until we're both frustrated beyond the point of desperation and finally can't stand the sight of each other. We may lose our marriage, but we do not want to lose our friendship as well.

I want to reiterate that neither of us is "leaving" the other; this decision is 100% mutually agreed on after a solid year of giving our relationship much serious thought. Just because it is mutual does not mean that we're happy about it, and this has not been easy at all. We've had plenty of anger, frustration and pain to work through, but we both have a sense of relief now that we've arrived at this resolution. We believe that divorce should only ever be a last resort (hence this period of separation while we still try to work things out) however we do not believe it would be sinful or morally wrong should we decide to go that route. We don't want to argue with anyone, and I know that most of our friends will likely disagree with us on that point, but after plenty of study, that is our conviction.

Please know that we are still friends. It's not awkward for us to go places together or hang out with our mutual friends, and I don't want anyone to feel that they have to pick or choose between one of us just because of this. If that time does ever come, we'll let you know... in the meantime, please feel free to interact with us just as you always have.

~Katrina & Josh

I spent the latter part of last week visiting a friend of mine in Virginia. I got to experience soft, misty rain during a walk in the forest; many lavender baths; old colonial towns; her delicious, home-cooked meals; and even a ride in her sweet BMW pictured below.



Naturally, I took pictures of pretty much everything (except the lavender baths, sorry). To see them, click on the photos below to be taken to that album.



 

 



Now I wish I had friends in every state, so that I could visit and catch up with them as well as have the chance to take photos of all the really neat places I probably wouldn't get around to visiting otherwise. We'll have to work on that...

I've come to realize that my hair:
is very versatile and forgiving, thanks to its many layers. It also looks fabulous with colored extensions.

I've come to realize that when I talk:
I know when to get straight to the point and when I can meander, filling in colorful details along the way.

I've come to realize that if I make a mistake:
the world will keep turning.

I've come to realize that all I really need:
is to remain authentic, but keep improving myself.

I've come to realize that I've lost:
all semblance of innocence... and that I don't really miss it.

I've come to realize that I hate it:
when I go for very long without some kind of change.

I've come to realize that if I were to get drunk:
I would be smiling non-stop, and hyper-focused on all things pertaining to sex.

I've come to realize that money:
is a very nice thing to have plenty of.

I've come to realize that when I get old:
Josh & I will probably end ourselves together in some spectacular way.

I've come to realize that I'll always be:
stubborn, with a little hint of rebellion thrown in for good measure.

I've come to realize that I have a crush on:
My best friend, Brittany

I've come to realize that the last time I cried:
it was because I was watching That 70's Show, the episode where Donna writes vows for her parents' renewal ceremony, but is thinking about her and Eric instead while writing them. Yeah... I don't know what is wrong with me for crying about that.

I've come to realize that my cell phone:
ROCKS! Josh got me a really nice one just a couple weeks ago.

I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:
I either pop joyfully out of bed immediately, or I can't get up without snoozing for another hour or more. There is no middle ground.

I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night I:
like to talk with Josh while snuggling, then go to the cooler side of the bed when it comes time to actually fall asleep, ideally while we're still holding hands.

I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
nothing, I guess. I had to stop and ask myself what I was thinking about, and I couldn't come up with anything.

I've come to realize that my life:
consist of an unknown length of time, and I might as well get busy 'cause I don't want to miss anything!

I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook:
I always check LensPainter Photography to see how many fans I have. I'm trying to get to 800 before the end of the week, incidentally. Want to help me out?

I've come to realize that today I will:
have rested, cleaned up the house a little, and enjoyed a Premier Jewelry party I hosted here for my cousin tonight.

I've come to realize that tonight I will:
eat chocolate ice cream, watch/listen to Josh playing his guitars, listen to him blast his music on our wicked speakers, and... who knows. I anticipate a relatively calm evening.

I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
probably go out and take a few pictures of something... anything... just because I can.

I've come to realize that I really want to:
buy that house we're looking at, get a puppy, visit Ireland, and then settle down... for five years or so.

I've come to realize that relationships are:
widely varied; some are worth keeping and maintaining, and others should be ditched.

I've come to realize love:
is more complex than I ever thought it could be.

I've come to realize that my husband:
deserves more appreciation from me for who he is as a person.

I've come to realize that my best guy friends:
are very easy to talk to.

I've come to realize my best girl friends:
are hilarious women who make me laugh.

I've come to realize food:
is a delightfully sensory experience to relish as often as possible.

I've come to realize that this summer:
might be one of the most exciting in my life!

I've come to realize heartbreak:
sucks, and then life moves on.

I've come to realize that my ex:
is someone I never think about until survey questions ask about him.

I've come to realize that crying:
is cleansing and restorative.

I've come to realize that death:
is inevitable, and I might as well do as much living as possible before it catches up to me.

I've come to realize that if I'm sick:
I look for natural ways of healing instead of going to the doctor.

I've come to realize that when I drive:
I feel powerful, adventurous and capable of doing anything.

I've come to realize that I really want to win:
Everything! I'm just a little competitive... LOL

I've come to realize that my job:
is something I have to mix up now and again... I can't just stick with the same thing for long or I get burned out.

I've come to realize that babies:
are something I just can't decide whether I want or not.

I've come to realize when I go shopping:
I enjoy it, even just grocery shopping.

I've come to realize that I love:
simply being alive.